OVER the past week I joined much of the world in watching 鈥楢诲辞濒别蝉肠别苍肠别鈥�, the Netflix show that portrays the alarming rise in misogyny and toxic masculinity among teenage boys, culminating in a shocking murder of a teenage schoolgirl by one of her male peers.
Given that almost 100 million viewers across the world have also tuned in, it鈥檚 safe to assume I鈥檓 not the only member of our School Community who has watched this compelling and confronting drama, which left me with a deep sense of concern about the world our children and teenagers are either on the cusp of, or to which they are already well entrenched.
Themes associated with the passage of adolescence have been in our conversations since days of Socrates, and the volume of material that has been written in this space is so widespread it鈥檚 easy to be desensitised, to the point that complacency creeps in. But this four-part limited series prompted me to pause to consider how deep these issues may be in our own community, and what we can do to ensure this well-documented worldwide rise in male disrespect for women among teenage boys is stamped out, rather than given the space to flourish.
Former teacher turned Australian parenting expert believes if there is one thing Australian parents can take away from Adolescence, it鈥檚 for us to be more engaged with how our children are engaging with tech, specifically with the online content they are consuming in their rooms without parental supervision.
In this week鈥檚 ABC News Daily podcast Michelle said something to host Samantha Hawley that has stayed with me and is something that I鈥檇 like to share with you now. Michelle said that 鈥渙ur kids actually have a relationship with tech, in the sense that if you think of tech like a person we would never let a person with that much power and that much knowledge about our kids and that much manipulative strength, have a relationship with our child. We would stand between tech and our child if that was an actual person. And that鈥檚 what the power of (Adolescence) has been - it鈥檚 given us a bit of a wake-up call, saying we need to stand between tech and our kids鈥�.
That we need to 鈥榮tand between tech and our kids鈥�. It鈥檚 a simple statement that will mean very different things for each of the 723 families who send their children to 欧美AV Grammar. It may be something comes easily to some families, yet it may be incredibly daunting - perhaps even impossible - for others. For families in our 欧美AV, it may feel like an issue that isn鈥檛 yet relevant at all.
What is relevant to all of us are the factors behind the societal shift in male adolescent behaviour which, often has strong links to the physiology of the adolescent male brain. Let鈥檚 indulge in a short crash course in the development in the adolescent male brain: science tells us it develops the limbic system (emotional nervous system) at a greater rate than the pre-frontal cortex (used for higher-order cognitive functions), making our teenagers more susceptible to impulsive emotional reactions rather than thought and planning. This disparity in development often manifests as changes to social behaviours, which has implications when it is aligned with a shift away from parents as key influences on their values, behaviours and world views to an outward-looking focus for a charismatic role model. Societal shifts tell us these charismatic adults outside of the family circle are increasingly becoming the more dominant influence for our teens.
In our modern society that charismatic male role model is often found online, where social media, in particular, has given rise to the influence of several notorious influences that purport hyper-masculinity or toxic male culture. Social media is a stronghold for these individuals and, as Michelle Mitchell outlines in her podcast, these influential relationships are accessible often by covert means, such as a phone on a bed behind a closed bedroom door, allowing the influence to remain undetected and unchallenged.
Reflecting on the relevance of this at 欧美AV Grammar, it is my experience that public displays of toxic masculinity among our teenage boys is not prevalent. However we would be naive to think that elements don鈥檛 exist, and it would be ignorant to think the potential for it to exist in the future is low. Which is the precise essence of Adolescence that stays with all who watch; the dramatised storyline may only just be plausible, but it is plausible. Which is why we must continue to proactively support our students to help them find their way through this social and developmental minefield.
So, let鈥檚 shift the focus back to ourselves as parents. What is our counter approach? What can we do? Australian teen friendships author and podcaster presented a compelling case on her social media platforms this week on the importance of putting quality male role models in front of her children, which includes humour barons Hamish and Andy and former Young Australians of the Year Nic Marchesi and Lucas Patcheet from Orange Sky Laundry, a homeless support service. These men make visible what is admirable and ideal and, importantly, they are relatable which then evokes aspiration and emulation in young men. Men such as these 鈥� and there are many more examples listed in Rebecca鈥檚 social media post 鈥� provide a positive expression of masculinity. Rebecca鈥檚 approach to put these examples in the orbit of her 11 and 13-year-old boys has merit and as a school we can also find similar examples much closer to home. Wednesday鈥檚 McColl Club presentation dinner for our rowers was a timely reminder of the positive impact that our rowing coaches have on the lives of our students. Affirmation that these relationships do exist much closer to home was tangible and heartening to witness.
The impact of watching Adolescence will stay with me as a father and as your Acting Principal for a long time. In my early days as a father, a female parent told me that the best gift I can give my children is to express love to my wife in a language my two young sons, in particular, can understand.
This advice feels as relevant now as it did then, and it is my hope that positive behaviour modelling at both home and school will serve our young men well today and into their journey to becoming young adults.
